To be sung to the tune of Rudolph, The Red Nosed
Reindeer
Rufus likes whores and cold beer,
Calls chicks up on his cell phone.
And if you hear him tell it,
His is the world's biggest bone!
All of the phone sex girls sneer;
Say his fantasies are Lame...
They never let poor Rufus
Join in any sex-play games.
Then one night things turned around;
Santa called his girls--
"Mrs. Clause thinks I'm too small;
Give Well-Hung-Rufus a call!"
Then how the girls did love him,
As they measured him with glee...
"Rufus, I'll buy you a beer;
If you'll just put that in me!!"
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Happy Xmas to all my loyal
Customers in the past year, wishing you
all health and happiness in 2012
Love Loren -kisses all over.1-
866-532-8435.....cum lets Celebrate
together will be here Christmas Day and
NYearsEve/Day
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HAPPY HOLIDAYS
TO ALL MY
WONDERFUL AND FAITHFUL CUSTOMERS.. Jingle Balls
Jingle Balls Jingle all the way to me, hope you
cum visit me, for some wicked pleasure, I have a
special package 4 you ,wishing you a Happy 2012,
lets bring it in with a bang! hugs kisses,
wishes Check out my Blogs for
HollidaySpecials,here on my website. kisses
Marlie
WWW.BRITISHHUMILIATRIX.COM
Santa Knows who has been a bad boy !!! I will be
here Xmas Day and NYears Eve/Day
Marlie 1-888-708-8821
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On the
first day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
A crossdresser in a pink tee.
On the
second day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Two panty boys,
And a crossdresser in a pink tee.
On the
third day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Three masturbators,
Two panty boys,
And a crossdresser in a pink tee.
On the
fourth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Four strap ons,
Three masturbators,
Two panty boys,
And a crossdresser in a pink tee.
On the
fifth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Five big cock rings,
Four strap ons,
Three masturbators,
Two panty boys,
And a crossdresser in a pink tee.
On the
sixth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Six glory holes,
Five big cock rings,
Four strap ons,
Three masturbators,
Two panty boys,
And a crossdresser in a pink tee.
On the
seventh day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Seven cock suckers,
Six glory holes,
Five big cock rings,
Four strap ons,
Three masturbators,
Two panty boys,
And a crossdresser in a pink tee.
On the
eighth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Eight maids a-milking,
Seven cock suckers,
Six glory holes,
Five big cock rings,
Four strap ons,
Three masturbators,
Two panty boys,
And a crossdresser in a pink tee.
On the
ninth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Nine little dicks,
Eight maids a-milking,
Seven cock suckers,
Six glory holes,
Five big cock rings,
Four strap ons,
Three masturbators,
Two panty boys,
And a crossdresser in a pink tee.
On the
tenth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Ten gooey footjobs,
Nine little dicks,
Eight maids a-milking,
Seven cock suckers,
Six glory holes,
Five big cock rings,
Four strap ons,
Three masturbators,
Two panty boys,
And a crossdresser in a pink tee.
On the
eleventh day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Eleven voyeurs spying,
Ten gooey footjobs,
Nine little dicks,
Eight maids a-milking,
Seven cock suckers,
Six glory holes,
Five big cock rings,
Four strap ons,
Three masturbators,
Two panty boys,
And a crossdresser in a pink tee.
On the
twelfth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Twelve perverts perving,
Eleven voyeurs spying,
Ten gooey footjobs,
Nine little dicks,
Eight maids a-milking,
Seven cock suckers,
Six glory holes,
Five big cock rings,
Four strap ons,
Three masturbators,
Two panty boys,
And a crossdresser in a pink tee!
Merry
Christmas!
Merry Christmas
from Sharon Summers of
www.SensualSexySharon.com
1-888-968-9265 |
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From our
Christmas party!
☻
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A blond woman goes to the post office to
buy stamps for her Christmas cards.
She says to the clerk, "May I have 50 Christmas
stamps?"
The clerk says, "What denomination?"
The woman says, "God help us. Has it come to
this? Give me 6 Catholic, 12 Presbyterian, 10
Lutheran and 22 Baptists."
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HAPPY HOLIDAY'S!
A
new year is approaching.
Have enjoyed meeting,
and talking to all of
you! Looking forward to
knowing you all better,
and meeting many more
new friends this year.
All my love, Barbra.
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REMEMBER THIS AT
CHRISTMAS TIME
According to the Alaska Department of Fish and
Game, while both male and female
reindeers
grow antlers
in the summer each year, male reindeer drop
their antlers
at the beginning of winter, usually late
November to mid-December. Female
reindeers
retain their antlers
till after they give birth in the spring.
Therefore, according to EVERY historical
rendition depicting
Santa's reindeer, EVERY single one of
them, from Rudolph to
Blitzen, had
to be a girl.
We should've
known... ONLY women would be able to drag a
fat-ass man in a red velvet suit all around the
world in one
night and not get lost.
Found and submitted by Bailey 866-850-8922 -
www.BabyGirlBailey.com
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10
Things that Sound Dirty at
Christmas, But Aren't
- 10. Did you get any under
the tree?
- 9. I think your balls are
hanging too low.
- 8. Check out Rudolph's
Honker!
- 7. Santa's sack is really
bulging.
- 6. Lift up the skirt so I
can get a clean breath.
- 5. Did you get a piece of
the fruitcake?
- 4. I love licking the end
till it's really sharp and
pointy.
- 3. From here you can't
tell if they're artificial or
real.
- 2. Can I interest you in
some dark meat?
- 1. To get it to stand up
straight, try propping it
against the wall.
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Classy Monique 1-800-571-4132
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Happy Holidays through
out the
Season
and
thank
you to
all my
loyal
Customers
in the
past
year,
wishing
you all
health
and
happiness,
in 2012
Love
Paige
1-866-364-1050-Here
XmasEve/Day
NYearsEve/Day
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SANTA'S PICK UP
LINES
-
I know
when you`ve been bad or good -- so let's
skip the small talk, sister!
-
Hey Babe,
when was the last time you did it in a
sleigh?
-
Ever make
it with a fat guy with a whip?
-
I know
when you`ve been bad or good -- so let's
skip the small talk, sister!
-
Some of my
best toys run on batteries... <wink wink>
-
I see you
when you're sleeping - and you don't wear
any underwear, do you?
-
Screw the
"nice" list -- I've got you on my "nice AND
naughty" list!
-
Wanna join
the "Mile High" club?
-
That's not
a candy cane in my pocket, honey. I'm just
glad to see you!
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~
The Spirit of Giving ~
The wife came
home early and found her husband in their bedroom making
love to a very attractive young woman. And was somewhat
upset. "You are a disrespectful pig!" she cried. "How dare
you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your
children ! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce straight away!"
And the husband replied "Hang on just a minute love, so at
least I can tell you what happened."
"Fine, go ahead," she sobbed, "but they'll be the last words
you'll say to me!"
And the husband began -- "Well, I was getting into the car
to drive home and this young lady here asked me for a lift.
She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity
on her and let her into the car.
I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very
dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days !
So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the
enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't
eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor
thing devoured them in moments.
Since she needed a good clean up I suggested a shower, and
while she was doing that I noticed her clothes were dirty
and full of holes so I threw them away.
Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans
that you have had for a few years, but don't use because you
say they are too tight.
I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary
present, which you don't use because I don't have good
taste.
I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas
that you don't use just to annoy her, and I also donated
those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't
use because someone at work has a pair the same."
The husband took a quick breath and continued - "She was so
grateful for my understanding and help and as I walked her
to the door she turned to me with tears in her eyes and
said,
" Please ... Do you have anything else that your wife
doesn't use?"
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HAPPY HOLIDAY FROM THE TWISTED SISTERS
MONIQUE & CHANELLE
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HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!
My very best wishes to all my guys....
May your days and nights be merry and bright,
and filled with whimpers of anticipation, moans of pleasure
and sighs of delight.
from
MEG
Cum play with Meg
888-889-6409
Wishing you a Merry XXX-mas &
a Happy Nude Year
Wet Kisses Jessy
1-866-702-4579
www.PhoneBabe4You.com
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Bridget's
Naughty Santa Claus is cumming to town!
Santa Claus
is cumming to town
He knows when you’ve been slutty
He knows when you’ve sucked cock
He stroked his dick as you drank
cum
His prick hard as a rock
O! You better watch out!
Santa’s horny like hell
Mrs. Claus took off
With Old Tinker Bell
Santa Claus is cumming to town
He’ll go down your chimney
And push up your skirt
When he licks your pussy
He’ll make you squirt
Santa Claus is cumming to town
O! You better watch out!
Santa needs a good fuck
He craves a wet pussy
And wants his cock sucked
Santa Claus is cumming to town
He’ll take out his rod
And beg for a lick
He’ll fuck you like crazy
With his long unused dick
Santa Claus is cumming to town
O! You better
watch out!
Santa has a huge load
When he fills you up
You might just explode
Santa Claus is cumming to town
Call Bridget if you want some naughty
talk. Santa won't be the only one
cumming.- 1-866-752-4763
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Also check out:
www.12DaysofaPhoneSexChristmas.com -
Funny twist on the 12 days of Christmas.
www.PhoneSexSanta.com
- Be a Sexy Santa to you favorite phone girl!
Santa's naughty
phone sex girl list
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And now
for some Adult Holliday Humor: |
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If Santa answered his mail
truthfully .................
Dear
Santa,
I don't know if you can do
this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back
together. Please see what you can do.
Love, Teddy
Dear
Teddy,
Look, your dad's banging the
babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane. Do you think he's
gonna give that up to come back to your frigid mom, who rides his
ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me send you
some Legos instead.
Santa
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Dear Santa,
I want a new bike, a
Playstation 2, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum kit, a pony
and a tuba.
Love, Francis
Dear
Francis,
Who names their kid "Francis"
nowadays. I bet you're gay. I'll set you up with a Barbie.
Santa
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Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl all
year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for
everybody!
Love, Sarah
Dear Sarah,
Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?
Santa
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Dear Santa,
I left milk and cookies for you
under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the
back door.
Love, Susan
Dear
Susan,
Milk gives me the shits and
carrots make the deer fart in my face
when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Leave me a
bottle of Scotch.
Santa
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Dear Santa,
What do you do the other 364
days of the year? Are you busy making toys?
Your friend,
Tho mas
Dear Tho mas,
All the toys are made in China . I have a condo in Vegas where
I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by
drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses
while losing money at the craps table. Hey, you wanted to know.
Santa
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Dear Santa,
Do you see us when we're
sleeping, do you really know when we're awake, like in the song?
Love, Jessica
Dear Jessica,
Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do.
I'm skipping your house.
Santa
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Dear Santa,
I really want a puppy this year.
Please, please, please, PLEASE, PLEASE could I have one?
Love, Timmy
Dear
Timmy,
That whiney begging shit may
work with your folks, but that crap doesn't work with me. You're
getting a sweater again.
Santa
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Dearest Santa,
We don't have a chimney in our
house. How do you get into our home?
Love, Marky
Dear Mark,
First stop callling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting
your ass whipped at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you
live in a
low-rent apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like
the boogeyman does, through your bedroom window.
Sweet dreams,
Santa
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Click here to make up your own "Adult" Dear Santa letter!
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