Halloween  Phone Sex

877-825-2782

Call now and talked to Morticia,  Spooky Sukii,  Moan-a,  Haggatha,  Elvira,  Zoey Zombie,  Vometta,  Evilline   or  Ghoul-oria......


Reality Versus Phone Sex

Timmy had a tiny little winky;

Really all the girls thought it was stinky.

It was hard to get a date

Cuz his dick was second rate,

Killing passion just as things got nice and kinky!

 

On the other hand,   

Reality can be better with phone sex:

 

Timmy was a stud beyond compare;

Really he was thought quite debonair.

Every inch of his huge cock

Always got hard as a rock,

Treating lucky girls to sex with savoir-faire!

 


The Count auditions for a Halloween Phone Sex commercial!

Click here to watch it on YouTube!

(be sure to turn up the volume on your speakers!)

 

 IS IT A TREAT (OR A TRICK)?

It's a treat if...she opens her throat and takes it all in;
It's a trick if...she bites.

It's a treat if...she bends over so you can nail her from behind;
It's a trick if...she bends over and farts.

It's a treat if...she starts with a strip tease;
It's a trick if...she turns out to be a cock tease.

It's a treat if...she likes it doggy style;
It's a trick if...she likes to do doggies.

It's a treat if..she wants to be titty fucked;
It's a trick if...her titties are smaller than yours.

It's a treat if...she shaves her pussy;
It's a trick if...she doesn't shave her legs.

It's a treat if...she's into sixty-nine;
It's a trick if...she IS sixty-nine.

It's a treat if...she screams when she cums;
It's a trick if...she screams because her husband cums home.

It's a treat if...she likes golden showers;
It's a trick if...she makes you take a cold shower.

It's a treat if...she makes all your wildest wet phone fantasies come true...
The OLCI phone girls sincerely hope you get only treats for Halloween

- OLCI Phone girls can be found at www.GirlsPhoneNumbers.com -

 

OLCI Girls Halloween Poem

 

Halloween's a goblins favorite day.
But also on this holiday,
The OLCI phone girls come out to play.
 
You might get great goodies to eat,
But for a truly magic feat,
You need to experience a 'phone trick or treat'.
 
You might sample chocolates and  gum,
But its your juicy, thick, hot cum,
That makes our naughty phonegirls go "yum"!
 
 
Check out the girls at www.FindPhonesex.com for all the naughty tricks and all the tasty treats!
 

Halloween Definitions, Phone Sex Style

 
 
Pumpkin:  What any good client calls his phone sex sweetie.
 
Costume:  Most people only get to dress up once a year; phone sex cuties do it every day!
 
Ghoul:  Those who try to get free phone calls in various ways...
 
Ghost:  You never actually see them, but you know they're there..just like your favorite phone babe.
 
Witch:  Just what you want any good Dom to be.
 
Bat:  If you're really good, you just might score a home run!
 
Elvira:  Mistress of the night, for those who like variety.
 
Frightened:  First time caller (but it gets less scary and more fun with every call!)
 
Trick:  If you want a really good one of these...
 
Treat:  You want to give your phone hottie one of these!!!

 
Have a safe and happy Halloween!!!

Sex on Halloween

Sex on Halloween is not a concept that I made up. Although you don't realize this, Halloween has always been filled with sex.  Just think of all the phrases you hear during the evening, and tell me it is not all sex related...

13. Have your mom check it before you put it in your mouth
12. Just get on your hands and knees and bob your head.
11. If you just lick it, it'll last longer.
10. She's a goblin!
9. I'd like to get a little something in the sack please.
8. Let me see your bag.... OH!-You're having a great night!
7. Isn't that sweet, he is wearing a pony costume and mask.
6. She's got a couple of nice pumpkins on her porch
5. Well look at that, he's dressed up just like Clinton.
4. Show me your JuJuBees and I'll let you see my Zagnuts.
3. Don't make me beg for it!
2. You scared me stiff!
1. He's got Candy spread out on the living room floor!


Q:  Why don't witches wear under panties????

A:  Better grip on the broom.

Halloween Costume #1
The guy had invited his girl to attend a Halloween party with him, and showed up at her door wearing only a pair of roller blades.
"Uh, and just what on earth are you supposed to be?" she asked.
"What else?" he replied smiling. "I'm a pull toy!"

Halloween Costume #2
There was a guy who was struggling to decide what to wear to go to a fancy costume party.  Then he had a bright idea.
When the host answered the door, he found the guy standing there with no shirt and no socks on.
"What the hell are you supposed to be?" asked the host.
"A premature ejaculation," said the man. "I just came in my pants!"

Halloween Costume #3
A couple is getting ready to go to a costume party.  The woman goes into the bedroom and emerges completely naked, except for a lemon hanging on a string from her vagina.
Her partner is shocked and amazed, and questions her about it. She answers that this is her costume, and this is the way she's going to the party.
So the guy goes into the bedroom and emerges a few minutes later also completely naked, but with a potato hanging on a string from his penis.
He looks at her and replies, "if you can go as a sour-puss, I can go as a dick-tater".


Q: What kind of dog does Dracula have?
A: A Bloodhound!

Q: Where did they put Dracula when he was arrested?
A: In a red blood cell!

Q: What is Dracula's favorite holiday?
A: Fangsgiving!

Q: What do you give a vampire with a cold?
A: Coffin Drops!

Q: Why did the vampire quit the baseball team?
A: They would only let him be BAT boy!

Q: Why don't witches wear panties?
A: So that they can get a good grip on the broom...

Q: Why do ghosts write in Latin?
A: It's a dead language.

Q: How can you tell if a witch is horny?
A: Check which end of the broomstick she's riding.


Cinderella and the Pumpkin...

We all know how Cinderella wanted to go to the ball but her wicked stepmother wouldn't let her and then the fairy godmother pops up and gives Cinderella some good news: The fairy godmother tells Cinderella that she will provide for her everything she needs to go to the ball, but only on 2 conditions. Cinderella asks what she needs to do and the fairy godmother replies, "First, you must wear a diaphragm." Cinderella's mouth drops open and says, "You must be crazy! I'm on the pill, and I don't need to wear a diaphragm." The fairy godmother reminds Cinderella about all the handsome princes that will be attending the ball that night, and Cinderella agrees to wear a diaphragm. "Well, what's the second condition?" Cinderella asked. The fairy godmother replies, "You must be back home by 2:00 AM. Well, Cinderella explains that if she's gonna go party with the princes, she wants to be out all night long. The fairy godmother tells Cinderella that if she's not home by 2AM, then her diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin and reminds her that at least she'll be with the princes most of the evening, so Cinderella agrees to be home at 2AM...

At 2AM, Cinderella doesn't show up...3AM, no Cinderella...4AM, no Cinderella...finally, at 5AM, Cinderella shows up at the door with a huge grin on her face.

The fairy godmother stands up and looks at Cinderella and says, "Where the hell have you been? Your diaphragm was supposed to turn into a pumpkin 3 hours ago!!!" Cinderella tells the fairy godmother that she met a prince and he took care of it for her. The fairy godmother wonders about a prince with this type of power and asks Cinderella his name to which she replies, "I can't remember, but it was Peter Peter something or other...."

 


Halloween Party

A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween party.  She got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone.  He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need of his good time being spoiled by not going.  So he took his costume and away he went.

The wife, after sleeping soundly for one hour, awakened without pain, and as it was still early, she decided to go to the party.  In as much as her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.

She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice chick he could and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there.  His wife went up to him and being a rather seductive babe  herself, he left his partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new stuff that had just arrived.

She let him go as far as he wished; naturally, since he was her husband. Finally he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had a little bang.  Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and went home and put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make for his behavior.

She was sitting up reading when he came in and asked what kind of a time he had.  He said, "Oh, the same old thing.  You know I never have a good time when you're not there."  Then she asked, "Did you dance much?" He replied, "I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance.   When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening.  But I'll tell you...the guy I loaned my costume to sure had a real good time!"


Costume Party
 
A man was sitting at the bar during a costume party when someone went up to him and said, "Hey, I thought you were supposed to dress up in something that symbolized your love life?"

The man said, "I am."

The other guy said, "You look like Abe Lincoln."

The man said, "That's right. My last 4 scores were 7 years ago."


 

Three vampires went into a bar and sat down. The barmaid came over to take their orders. "And what would you, er, gentlemen like tonight?"
The first vampire said, "I'll have a mug of blood." The second vampire said, "I'll have a mug of blood." The third vampire shook his head at his companions and said, "I'll have a glass of plasma."
The barmaid wrote down each order, went to the bar and called to the bartender, "Two bloods and a blood light".


The NUN

A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the
VERY handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her.
She asks him why he is staring.
He replies: "I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend
you"
She answers, " My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive."
"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me."
She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that:
#1, you have to be sing le and
#2, you must be Catholic."

The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I'm single and Catholic!
"OK" the nun says. "Pull into the next alley." !

The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush.

But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.
"My dear child," said the nun, why are! you crying?"

"Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied and I must confess, I'm married and
I'm Jewish."

The nun says, "That's OK. My name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween
party."

TRICK OR TREAT!!!!!!



Found and submitted by Princess Petra 888-708-8821 www.BritishHumiliatrix.com

 

This animated verison of the toon was found b Samantha - 877-800-9986 - www.SweetTeenTeases.com

This adult halloween toon found and submitted by Samantha 877-800-9986 www.SweetTeenTeases.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Found and submitted by Samantha 877-800-9986 - www.SweetTeenTeases.com

 

 

 

 

 


 

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